exactly like baby aspirin and he was only drinking it because the bartender had promised him it
was loaded with caffeine and something called taurine; which was guaranteed to keep him
hyperawake all night。
All of a sudden he noticed a violently tall woman wearing a flaming red bouffant wig?ithad to be
a wig?neon pink lipstick; andhuge tortoise…shell sunglasses standing in the middle of the packed
room with her hands cupped around her mouth。 ?Daniel Humphrey? Calling Daniel Humphrey!?
she shrieked。
It was Rusty Klein。
Dan tilted his head back and downed his drink; blinking his eyes as the caffeine and whatever
else was in his drink rushed to his brain all at once。 He stumbled over to the woman; his heart
thumping even faster than the music。 ?I?m Dan;? he croaked。
?Lookatyou ! Our newpoet ! You?readorable !Perfect !? Rusty Klein pushed her enormous
sunglasses up on top of her head and jangled the enormous gold bracelets covering her long bony
wrists as she grabbed Dan and kissed each of his cheeks。 Her perfume smelled oily and acidic; like
tuna fish。 ?I love you; honey;? she purred; squeezing Dan tight。
Dan shrank away; unused to being manhandled by someone he?d only just met。 He hadn?t
expected Rusty Klein to be soscary 。 Her eyebrows had been dyed to match her wig and she was
dressed like a sword fighter; in a form…fitting black velvet Better Than Naked puffy…sleeved jacket
and matching black velvet bullfighting pants。 A rope of black pearls clung to her pale; bony
cleavage。
?I?ve been trying to write more poems;? Dan stammered。 ?You know; for my book??
?Wonderful!? Rusty Klein shouted; thrusting her lips at him again and probably smearing bright
pink lipstick all over his face。 ?Let?s make a lunch date sometime next week。?
?Um; I?ve got school all day every day next week; but I get out at three…thirty。?
?School!?Rusty screamed。 ?You?re socute ! We can do tea then。 Call my office and have Buckley;
my assistant; set it up。 Oh; fuck me!? She clasped Dan?s arm with a clawlike hand。 Her fingernails
were at least three inches long and painted orangey pink。 ?There?s someone here you
absolutelymust meet。?
Rusty let go of Dan and held out her arms to receive a frail…looking girl with a long; sad face and
dirty blond hair。 The girl was wearing only a see…through light pink slip over her gaunt frame and
her lank; waist…length hair was unbed; as if she?d just gotten out of bed。 ?Mystery Craze; this
is Daniel Humphrey。 Daniel; this is Mystery;? Rusty purred loudly。 ?Mystery; honey; you
remember that poem I gave you to read? The one you said 。 。 。 Oh; fuck me。 I?ll letyou tell him
what you said。 Now if you?ll excuse me; I?m going to go lick my favorite designer?s ass so he?ll