拉塞尔康威
RussellConwell
IwasattendingaseminarinSydneyinArilandickedualecturenote。Initwasareflectionon
"Attitude
"。
Letmequotetheanonymouswriter:
"ThelongerIlive,themoreIrealizetheimactofattitudeonlife。Attitude,tome,ismoreimortantthanfact。Itismoreimortantthantheast,thaneducation,thanmoney,thancircumstances,thanfailures,thansuccesses,thanwhatothereolethinkorsayordo。Itismoreimortantthanaearance,intelligenceorskill。Itwillmakeorbreakacomany,achurchorahome。
"Theremarkablethingiswehaveachoiceeverydayregardingtheattitudewewillembraceforthatday。Wecannotchangethefactthateolewillactinacertainway。Wecannotchangetheinevitable。Theonlythingwecandoistolayontheonestringwehave,andthatisourattitude。
"Iamconvincedthatlifeis10ercentwhathaenstomeand90ercenthowIreacttoit。Andsoitiswithyou。Youareinchargeofyourattitude。
"
Thismeansthatnomatterwhathaenstoyou,itishowyoureactorresondtoitthatisimortant。
Youcantcontrolorinfluencecertaineventsinlife—earthquake,sabotage,terroristbombings,beingstruckbylightning,afreaktrafficaccidentandsoon。Butyoucancontrolhowyouthinkandfeelaboutsuchincidents,evenwhenyouaretheunfortunatevictimofanaccident。
Youcanchoosetomoanandgroanaboutyourmisfortune,aboutwhatyouhavelosthysicallyorfinancially。Oryoucanchoosetocountyourblessingsthatyouarestillalive,thatyouhavemostofyourhysicalormentalfaculties。Arolongednegativeattitudewouldmakeyoumiserableandregressivewhereasachangetoaositiveattitudewouldsuryoutothinkofossibilities。
Youcouldbetauntedordiscriminatedagainstifyoulostaleg,armoraneye。Youcanthelsomeinsensitiveeoledoingsuchthings。Ifyoufretoverwhatissaidandwhathasbeenderivedofyou,doesitmakeyouanyhaier,determined,erseveringorresourceful?
Therightattitudetotakeisnottoletinsults,sarcasm,rudeness,ridiculeormockerybotheryou。Whyresondnegativelytosuchbehavioursofothereole?Itdoesntaytostrikebackcontemtuouslyatthem。Ifyoudo,youareshowingthatyouareemotionallyweaker。
Showthatyouareemotionallystronger,thatyoudonothavetotradeinsultswithinsults,thatwhattheysayordodoesnotbotheryouatall。Showthedignitythattheydonothave。
Theainisnotinwhattheinsensitiveeolesayaboutyouordotobelittleyou。Theainisinhowyouinterretandreacttosuchacts。
Veryoften,wenegativelyover-reactto,or
"read
"toomuchinto,whateolesayordo。Itsacaseofseeingwhatwewanttosee,regardinganissueasbigwhenitcouldreallybeinsignificant。
Evenifeoleinrealityaredownrightinhuman,youcanchoosetoignoretheirbehaviourornotviewitnegativelyatall。Thatisrealselfmastery。
Losingaartofthebodyisnottheendoflife。Itmightbetheendofacareerthatyouweretrainedinandthebeginningofanewcareerbutagain,itmightnot。IfthefamousStehenHawkingcanseakthroughacomutergadget,ifagolfercanstilllaywithametalarm,thenatrainerwholosesbothlegsorarmscanstillfindsomeotherwaystoteach。
Whenyoulosehoe,whenyoudesair,whenyoublameeoleallthetime,whenyoudonotevenwanttotryandersevere,thenyouchoosetomakelifemeaninglessforyourself。
Whatisthevalueofintellect,imagination,education,knowledge,wisdom,exerience,cometenceandtalentifyouadotanegativeattitudeeveryday?
Toexandonwhatthewriterinthechurchleafletsaid,attitudecanmakeorbreakaerson。Eitheryouareinchargeoforyoulosechargeofyourattitude。
四月里,我在悉尼出席一个研讨会时,收到别人给我的一份演讲稿。其中的内容讲的是感悟“态度”。
让我在此借用这位匿名作者的话:
“经历得越多,我就越能意识到态度对生活的影响。相比事实而言,态度对我更为重要。比起经验、教育、金钱、环境,以及他人的看法和言行,态度更为重要。外貌、智力或技能,与态度相比也显得微不足道。态度使一个企业、一种信仰、一个家庭存在或消失。
“值得注意的是,每天我们都可以选择以何种态度去迎接这一天。对于他人的处事方式和必然发生的事,我们都无法改变。我们唯一能做的,就是在我们自己的弦——我们的态度上做文章。
“因为我坚信,那些必然发生而又无法更改的事,只是人生的10%,其他90%则取决于我们如何看待。对于自己的态度,我们一样可以掌控。”
也就是说,不管遇到什么事,最重要的是看我们如何去面对它。
生活中的有些事件,你是无法控制或影响的,如地震、阴谋破坏、恐怖爆炸、遭遇雷击、突发的交通事故,等等。而自己对这些事件的想法和感受,你是可以控制的,即使你是事故的不幸受害者。